What is a person like who has their shit together?
Most of us imagine them as a person who has everything in order and gets stuff done, the way they want to get done.
That’s not entirely true.
The true test of whether someone has their shit together is what they do and how they handle it when the unexpected happens.
I used to think I had my shit together. Now I’m aware that I really didn’t in the past.
As soon as anything went outside of the plan, I would lose it: lose my focus, lose my composure.
But I want to share a story with you, to inspire you as you choose to work towards getting your own shit together.
When the Unexpected Happens, What to Do?
Recently, I found out on short notice that an application process was going to be made available to me for something that had always been a goal of mine.
We struggle with how to choose the “right” decision about what to do and choose who to disappoint as a result.
That opportunity came last week – and with practically no notice, it was game on.
The previous week, I didn’t know that I would have this project coming up until the announcement was made. I had more than a full plate already in my plan for work.
These circumstances happen to all of us: the unexpected, the full schedule, the plan that requires adjusting.
Sound familiar to you?
It’s easy to let that take over and cause anxiety, stress and overwhelm.
What Messages Are You Telling Yourself?
What is your process for determining what you should do?
I have heard things like:
- My boss’ schedule is more important than mine. I don’t want them to think they have to adjust around my schedule.
- I want my Team to know that I support them when they need help.
- I’ll just work harder and longer hours to get it done.
- I can skip working out, packing my lunch in the morning, being home for dinner, or I can get up earlier, stay up later.
- My husband, kids, friends, or relatives will understand.
If you’ve said statements like these, it’s a big sign that you don’t have your shit together!
When I said statements like these to myself, it really doesn’t make me feel very good. It feels as if I am putting everyone and everything before me. It feels, well…shitty.
Thoughts that make me (and most everyone) feel shitty are:
- Putting myself second or behind others’ needs
- Feeling obligated
- Not living up to the commitments I’ve made to myself or others and disappointing them
We end up feeling like we are the victim to the limited time or additional demands.
When we make choices from this place, we end up becoming resentful of the things we choose.
How to Make Alternate Plans & Choose Better Step by Step
What better choices could we make?
We CAN change how we approach our decisions and what we are going to think going in. It’s perfectly fine to think that way. Don’t start down the rabbit hole of judging and shaming yourself.
The ideas I listed above do not serve us toward anything that is empowering. My goal was to become more empowered toward resolving this with confidence and capability.
I decided to choose to think that I was going to:
- Make choices about what to do based on my priorities list
- Decide that I was not going to question or look back and beat myself up for my decisions
- Be at peace with whatever I intelligently determined was best, with my goals and priorities in mind. (This was super empowering for me.)
- From there, I began to act.
I took it step by step and listed my priorities for the week: The Project, Health, Family, Clients, Business Priorities, Social.
Then I listed the existing tasks already scheduled for the week:
- I knew that the project was my top priority for the week. I mapped out what needed to be done and when I would tackle each portion.
- Next was my commitment to my health, so I blocked out my 3 workouts on the calendar for the week.
- I wanted to spend some time with my son and husband, so I blocked off 4 hours to golf with them on Sunday afternoon- which was the only time we could do it together. (Yes, just hours before the project deadline!)
- All my client appointments worked within my schedule.
- Other social commitments were able to be met and I managed to make dinner 3 out of 5 nights.
What Did I Choose to Bump and Why?
I determined that many of the other responsibilities I had put on myself for the business that week were only urgent because I had decided they needed to be.
As a result, I set time aside for all the necessary items and moved the others to the following week.
I could have chosen to:
- Sleep less or skip something else
- Bump the big business goal timeline all together
- Outsource business tasks for the week to someone else and pay them to get it done. I chose to just move them.
I chose to:
- Skip making dinner and relied on others around me to figure it out on 2 of the nights.
- I also skipped a few personal errands I had planned that were not urgent.
And you know what? I never felt bad about any of it. I chose exactly what I wanted to do and what I didn’t need to do.
Here’s my recommendations for not feeling shitty:
- NO shitting on ourselves.
- Decide how you will approach the added, unplanned projects or appointments or requests. How are you going to think about it? How does that make you feel? Thoughts that make you feel stressed, anxious, or guilty aren’t going to get you very far.
- Firmly establish your priorities. What are the most important things you want to do with your time for the week? If it doesn’t fit into your top priorities – then either:
Delay it, Delegate it, or Ditch it all together.
Mapping it all out and honoring your commitments is what will keep you moving forward.
Then evaluate all that you accomplished, learn from it all and make your plan for next week with all of it in mind.
The most important area of your life where you can focus is gaining control of your most valuable resource- your time.
When you can do that, you will officially have your shit together! Woohoo!
Come check out Strive Coaching Studio for a ton of valuable tools and resources you can use to improve your results, gain more control of your time – and be able to learn how you can achieve all the things you want to in your life – you know, so you can feel less shitty – and more AWESOME!