Recently I chatted with Jessica Farmer, Certified Life & Marriage Coach, about setting up your business – and your marriage – for success. If you’re thinking that sounds like an impossibility, believe me when I say:
Your marriage CAN become a successful business partnership!
Sure, it comes with its own unique set of challenges. Yet today, many clients are exploring more marital or family-owned businesses. And Jessica has some great words of wisdom and tips.
Jessica stresses what an important and timely topic this is for many people today who currently either work together or work in the same vicinity with their spouses.
Family and generational businesses coming together to create something huge is an amazing thing.
How do you achieve such success in business & in marriage?
The Past Predicts the Future…
This 1950’s version of the modern model of a nuclear family that is familiar to us today, which separates work and home, is a fairly new construct in the last 100 years or so.
Traditionally in the history of the world, husbands and wives and family businesses have been in place for generations.
It can be very beneficial to the marriage and to the business.
The benefits of a family business are many…
- When a couple can work out all the kinks and manage the transition, it can enhance the intimacy of the marriage, bolstering teamwork and working together for the investment and benefit of the entire family, as well as individually.
- Communication and trust opportunities are being practiced and built until you are masters at doing it.
- Getting to know each other in a multi-faceted way, accepting each other in every way and in new ways. It builds deeper connection and intimacy.
A leader is only as good as their marriage.
The science behind relationships is rooted in the foundation of parent/child to provide security and success. It builds confidence and resilience. As we grow, we become attached to a spouse or romantic partner verses our parents. This provides the foundation in the same way and can lead to improved success, statistically speaking.
Humans are designed for this string attachment. Our brains have evolved this way naturally, to have a connection with a significant person. That is what allows us to shine.
Business & Relationships: The Common Pitfalls
Communication is key in any relationship- especially in business.
It’s important to understand what’s going in with you and to be able to communicate that effectively to your partner.
When things are uncomfortable:
- Recognize it in the moment when things appear amiss. Be aware of the incident where things may have gone awry.
- Acknowledge your fear and other emotions. Then you begin to train your brain to react differently after the fact.
Feeling frustrated, angry, or resentful is a good indicator that there is something going on in your brain that needs your attention.
Building a Solid Foundation – in Marriage & Business
Your marriage is its own pillar. Your business is its own pillar entity.
Nurture the relationship as its own entity. Having care plans for each pillar are critical for healthy development.
Be cautious about idealizations in both marriage and business. When reality sets in, it can be surprising. Ask yourself:
- What do I want?
- How is this going to work?
- What does this need to look like?
Establish ideas ahead of time.
Start today. It’s never too late to review and establish:
- Roles and Responsibilities- it doesn’t matter the roles if you are both 100% on board. Be “radically honest,” as Jessica recommends. This allows you to be creative and thoughtful toward results aligned with everyone’s goals.
- When there are disagreements, compromise is critical and can’t happen without being very clear about needs. Structuring the support of each person’s needs is necessary for the health of the business relationship and the intimate relationship.
Reaping the Rewards in Work & Life
The old idea of not bringing business home to the kitchen table may be unrealistic for you. 
Rather than separate work and life, incorporate the best continuous integration of family life and business life together.
You’ll have fun being affectionate to each other and drawing together toward the results, the experience, and the journey together.
The most successful relationships and businesses are a strong marriage FIRST and then the business is added into that mix.
You’ll get to know each other more deeply so that:
- You know when it’s the right time to break and decompress.
- Each individual brings exactly who they are. Their partner expects it all and knows that it is part of the package, rather than changing or improving. Create a structure around each person’s personalities that makes it work with acceptance.
The culture of your marriage sets the tone for the culture of the business with your employees – so, set yourself up best with deliberate intention.
It’s not going to be perfect all the time.
Nothing in life is. And that’s ok. If 80% of the time you are on point, you have such a great opportunity for amazing results.
The Biggest Takeaway?
It is cultivating a feeling of fun. Nobody wants to be in a business OR marriage where everybody is serious all the time.
Make it fun! That’s one of the biggest reasons to create a marital or family business – so enjoy that benefit!
To learn more about Jessica and her awesome work, visit: https://jessicafarmercoaching.com/
And we’re here at Strive Coaching Studio to help you with your business – to make it the best it can possibly be!